


Dangnyanronpurr

by MonokumaCuddles (SucculentStrawberries)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Animals, Alternate Universe - Cats, Cats, Confused Naegi Makoto, Enoshima Junko Being An Asshole, Enoshima Junko Being Enoshima Junko, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, POV First Person, POV Nonhuman, Self-Indulgent, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SucculentStrawberries/pseuds/MonokumaCuddles
Summary: Your favourite danganronpa characters are cats. Join them as they do cat things, go on cat adventures, and occasionally swear very uncat-like swear words.
Relationships: Enoshima Junko/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Dangnyanronpurr

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so I had a horribly stressful last month and I wrote this in the process to have fun because I couldn't work on any of my 'legitimate' projects. Silly Cat AU fics are my biggest guilty reading pleasure and there aren't nearly enough. Also I love NaeJunko but canon leaves me very little room to write it. So here this is. A dumping ground for all my personal DR cat content needs. Silly fluff, crack, and general tomfoolery will abound. No murders, unless it's a stuffed toy. 
> 
> Y'all have no idea how hard it was for me to not call him Makoto Nyaegi. 
> 
> I hope anyone who appreciates this niche enjoys!
> 
> Also if you want specific breed hcs: Makoto is a plain domestic shorthair brown tabby (the most common cat). Junko is a cream/golden ragdoll!

"There you are. You almost missed your breakfast." 

I was still blinking the sleep from my eyes as my owner's voice murmured on, and I let them scoop me up and carry me away from my spot on the floor and into the kitchen. The other humans- this owner's mate and their children, were eating from their own bowls, and soon enough I was eating from mine on the ground beside them. As the trace memories of whatever I'd been dreaming about faded away, I let my ears twitch, tuning in to bits and pieces of their conversation. I never understood very much, but it seemed to make them happy whenever they'd say my name and I'd look up, or if one was stressed and I made my way over to rub against their legs.

My owners were very good to me, and even if I didn't have any special talents or tricks to perform, or the softest or most visually pleasing fur to pet (it was the plainest of brown tabby coats, and while I didn't mind, most images of cats they'd shown me made it clear it wasn't 'fashionable'), I tried to do what I could to please them. 

I wished I could be more like my sister.

Whenever her humans brought her over to visit us, she always knew just what to do to entertain them. She was outgoing and silly, and, admittedly, adorable. She could do a lot of acrobatics too.

All I could really do was try to pick up tidbits of my owners' personalities and base my actions off of that. Sometimes it worked well, and they'd be extra affectionate and coo over me. And of course, there were times it went horribly wrong. Like when I brought the biggest stag beetle I'd found to the mother of the house… sometimes I still heard her horrified screams in my nightmares…

I guess if you added everything up, the successes and the failures, I was doing okay at taking care of my humans. Not great, but not terribly either. I'd gotten us all through our move from a city apartment to our new house here a few months ago, and we were still in one piece. The young ones were doing well at 'school' and 'daycare', whatever those were. And the adults went out to 'work' most days (the human equivalent of hunting, socialising, and patrolling, from what I've gathered), and came back without any injuries. Sometimes they brought me presents too, and I had to admit, they were almost as nice as the stag beetle.

The best gift they'd given me was unveiled after the first few weeks of living here, actually. My owners were generous enough to give me my own territory outside to enjoy, something I'd never gotten to have in our stuffy, crowded human colony. It was where I spent most of my free time when they were gone, as long as the weather was nice (while there was a shield to keep out large predators, the holes that gave me fresh air and insects also let rain or snow in). It had a pleasant view of the property around us, an umbrella to provide shelter if I got too hot or if there was a sudden rainshower, and a tree for me to climb. I didn't think it was a real tree. It didn't look like the others I'd seen outside, at least. But it was mine, and it was comfortable, with plenty of surfaces to file my claws, and sturdy platforms to jump between and nap on.

In fact, that was where I was headed today, after a couple of hours of playing with the young ones and then watching the entire group leave in their strange contraption. It was a noisy thing, with a strange rumble, but I preferred it to the roaring things underground and constant wailing sounds at night at our old place. And it hadn't eaten them yet. It had even carried us here, so it was harmless. Hopefully. I kept an eye on it every morning and when it brought them home, just to be sure.

_ Maybe I'll see that songbird again today. I liked its singing. Or maybe a new kind of beetle to chase? Summer is arriving soon, so there should be more coming out. _

What greeted me when I pushed my head through the flap wasn't a bird  _ or _ a beetle. It was something I'd never expected, something I'd never dreamt I would encounter. It was so surreal, part of me wondered if I was dreaming...

There, laying in a patch of sunlight on the patio, was a strange creature I'd never seen before. A lump of what looked like spun gold, each fine strand shimmering in the light, and without a tangle to be seen. As I padded closer, I was able to make out a set of small, perfectly triangular ears, and a delicate, pink nose. 

_ I've definitely never seen this cat before… I've never seen a cat  _ **_like_ ** _ this before, except for on food packaging. I didn't think they were real… just touched up with human tricks and tools… _

The cat in front of me wasn't a trick. It was real, as real as me. Its sides rose and fell with every breath, its paws twitched as it chased whatever object escaped it in dreams, and its scent wound its way through my nostrils. It was a unique scent. Sweet, so heavily sweet it was almost sickening as it brushed the roof of my parted jaws… and yet there was a sharp undercurrent. Spiced, maybe even bitter? I couldn't narrow it down.

_ This has to be a cat with a pedigree… there's no way it belongs in this neighborhood. So… why is it here? Is it lost? It isn't wearing a collar. _

At first I'd worried it was injured or sick, just lying there like that, but it looked to be in perfect health. Perfect grooming, perfect breathing… everything about this creature was perfect.

_ How did it even get here? _

Perplexed, I let my thoughts wander, trying to figure out the answers to my questions. Before I knew it though, they were brought to a crashing halt.

"HEY!!!" An earsplitting screech rang in my ears, and I found myself scrambling to climb to higher ground before I could think. Once I reached the top of my tree, I glanced back down at the source, my muscles poised to bolt. The stranger (judging by her voice, a girl) had apparently woken up from her nap, glaring daggers. Her fur was spiked along her back, and her tail lashed like a whip, as if it was threatening to strike me. "Are you gonna gawk at me all day, you little peeping tom?!? Or are you at least gonna say  _ something _ stupid before I skin you?"

"What?!? I-I wasn't- I mean, I was  _ looking _ at you, b-but I wasn't gawking, I was just-" She was stepping closer with each word I stammered out, and my heart slammed against my ribcage. "I-I've never seen you before, and I wasn't sure what to make of you! S-So I came to investigate-" In a flash, she'd managed to leap up the tree to join me, standing on the lower platform near mine. Even with that difference, once she reared up to rest her front paws where I was standing, we were practically muzzle to muzzle. "You're in my enclosure." I finished dumbly, my voice reduced to a murmur as her angry huff blew at my whiskers. 

Now probably wasn't the time to ponder how blue her eyes were, even more now that her pupils were narrowed to slits, but I couldn't help noticing them.

_ I guess if you're that beautiful, getting stared at by everyone would get pretty annoying. No wonder she jumped straight to bad impressions… _

Before I could think of anything else to say to save my skin, she suddenly rolled her eyes, abandoning me and leaping back down to the floor. "Well, it's not really  _ 'enclosed' _ if there's a big hole in it, is it dummy?"

"A hole?"

"Yeah. How else do you think I would've gotten in here?" she scoffed, angling her ears to gesture towards the left corner. Sure enough, the netting had been torn open towards the bottom, leaving just enough room for a cat to slip through. 

"Huh? How did that happen?" In all the time I'd lived here (which I guess hadn't been that long, but still), the net had been invulnerable! Jumping down myself, I crept over warily to examine the area. "What kind of vicious creature could have ripped it open like that?" I wondered aloud, sniffing the area. "A dog maybe?" But I hadn't heard any lately, and the only scents I was picking up were the two of us-

"You think some ugly mutt could do that!?! They can't do anything they aren't commanded to!" she spat. "And look, the net's cut with precision, yeah? There aren't a bunch of slobbery bite marks, are there?" 

"No… you're right, there aren't." As I examined the rip closer, I realized the open strands weren't frayed or unevenly spaced. They were all cut to the same length, horizontally. The net had been sliced in one fell swoop. Either that, or several more meticulous ones.

"So it wasn't a dog. It was a cat, one hundred percent!" Puffing out her fur, she strutted over, looking very proud of her deduction. "The real question is,  _ which _ cat?"

"I'm not picking up other scents though. Although, I guess I wouldn't know who it was even if I could." I furrowed my brows, concentrating, but no. Nothing but us. "I don't really know any cats around here, so it could've been anybody…"

"Well, we can narrow down your list of suspects, stupid."

"How?"

"Well,  _ I'm _ a cat who's sitting right here." she tapped my forehead with her paw, frowning. "Haven't you ever heard it's rude not to introduce yourself to a lady? Where's your proper kitty manners? Were you raised in a barn?"

_ Of course not! I was raised in a house. _

"Hey, you didn't exactly give me a chance! I was going to earlier, before-"  _ 'Before you yelled at me' _ probably wouldn't go over well… Shaking my head, I straightened up to face her. "Sorry. You're right. Let's… start over on the right paw, okay?" Clearing my throat, I flashed her my best smile. "Hello there. I'm Makoto, of the Naegi household. And what may I call you, miss?"

"That's  _ much _ better, Makoto." she purred, a pleasant smile gracing her muzzle for the first time. Once she was sure her fur was in order, she stepped towards me again. "I'm  _ Junko fuckin' Enoshima _ , the prettiest kitty you'll ever see in your pitiful life!"

"Uh… that's probably true." I managed, nodding like that wasn't a strange introduction. Was it really necessary to swear? Still, despite the chaotic and smug energy about her, she seemed to be acting considerably nicer now. Maybe she was just… a little eccentric. That was all. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Junko. That's one cat down, at least."

"Yep! So now you've finished your suspect list! Wow! Congrats!!! You beat the tutorial!" 

"Huh? The what?"  _ Forget it. _ Staring at the cheering cat in front of me, I tried to call over her meowing. "Hey! How could I finish? I only have one name!"

"Yeah, the only name you need! Isn't that a shocker?"

_ The only name I need? What is that supposed to- _

"Wait! Are you saying  _ you _ did this!?!"

"Well, it  _ was _ my brilliant idea. But I can't take all the credit, even if I deserve it. I wasn't about to mess up my nails, you know." She mewed calmly, examining a forepaw, and the strange claws sheathed within it. Instead of the normal colour, they were a brilliant red, and shone unnaturally in the light. "I had somebody else cut it for me."

" _ Why?!? _ " What kind of cat went around demanding for nets to be cut? Didn't she have everywhere else to roam around? I was more baffled than angry, although that didn't mean I wasn't annoyed at all.

_ I'm definitely going to get blamed for the tear. Doesn't she realize her actions have consequences?  _

Junko looked at me like I'd asked if the sky was blue. "So I could get in here and check out the place,  _ duh _ . This is a prime sunning spot, you know. Maybe the best in the neighborhood." Arching her back in a stretch, she squinted at me. "Kinda selfish of you to keep it all to yourself, don't'cha think?"

Was this really such a nice place? I'd thought my house was pretty run-of-the-mill, certainly nothing like the far away mansions and sprawling estates my owners spoke of.

Admittedly, I did feel kind of bad. If it was really the best spot in the area, there were definitely worthier cats than me who deserved to bask in it. But I wasn't about to be blamed or seen as greedy either. I had a reputation to protect, especially with all the bad impressions I'd made so far with her.

"Hey, that's not up to me! I didn't ask to have a net put up! My owners wanted it this way!" I explained. Surely she'd understand that, right? I couldn't argue with creatures so big, especially since we didn't speak the same language. "If it was up to me, I'd share, but it isn't! They're the ones in charge, and I can't do anything about it. So I'm sorry, but you really can't be here." I sighed. It was bad enough that I had to figure out what to do about the net. If I had visitors here on top of that, I'd be in the doghouse for sure. "Please leave…"

Miss Junko didn't seem understanding at all. 

"So is that it, kid? You just do everything your owners demand? Like some remote-control toy mouse?"

"What's a 'remote-control'?"

"Nevermind, fuzzbrain. The point is, are you going to live your whole life so passively? Not making any of your own decisions, living the same boring life day by day? Never shaking it up?" Junko was staring at me with pity, and all at once, she seemed to deflate, sinking to the floor with a long sigh. "That's  _ soooo _ majorly depressing… You're gonna rot away in here… withering up all gross and growing mushrooms on your head…" 

_ Mushrooms on my head? I don't think that's possible... _

"My life isn't that bad, Miss Junko!" I tried to reassure her, patting her head with a forepaw. She didn't budge, still staring at me with those forlorn eyes. "I get two square meals a day, and plenty of treats. I'm shielded from bad weather, and I get attention and toys, and a comfortable place to sleep. That's enough for me, I promise." It may not be the most exciting or glamourous life, but I wasn't an exciting or glamourous cat. I was average, and an average existence suited me just fine. Sure, maybe I was missing out on some things, but that didn't mean something was  _ missing  _ from my life.

"You're telling me you don't ever wonder what's out there?" Junko huffed, blinking up at me. "Outside of your stupid net box?"

"Not really. I mean… sometimes I do, I guess. But I can see enough from here, or see places in that weird window my owners like to watch." That was enough travel for me. "Besides, I'm not the strongest or bravest, and I'm not that smart either- not like you. If I left, who knows what kind of crazy trouble I'd get mixed up in, y'know? I'm not lucky enough to take risks." I admitted, fighting the urge to yawn. It was almost time for my mid-afternoon nap, after all. "It's safer for me to stay here."

" _ That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard! _ " Junko suddenly yowled, hissing and leaping to her paws, puffing all of her fur out. She was at least a head taller than me like that, and I couldn't help but flinch back as she spat at me. "You're gonna make me yack up a hairball listening to that! You're disgusting,  _ pathetic _ ! A miserable excuse for a cat, you puny runt!" Spitting at me once more with her lips pulled back to show off gleaming white fangs, she boxed my ears with her forepaws until they stung. 

"H-Hey, stop that! Quit it!" I tried to duck away from her, but she kept cutting me off, advancing on me until I felt my tail brush the house wall. She was blocking the door leading back inside, and even if I could dart past her, she'd just follow me in. Who knew what kind of havoc she could wreak inside?

"Awww, what's the matter,  _ kitten _ ?" She teased, suddenly rearing up onto her hind legs. Before I could move, she brought herself back down with a thump, pinning me to the ground and keeping a firm grip on my shoulders. "Aren't your precious owners going to come help you? Go ahead and call for them~"

"They're out right now, you know that!" My heart was pounding, and my attempts to wriggle out from under her weren't working. How was she so  _ strong _ ? "Ow! Don't bite me!" I hissed, shaking my head to try and dislodge the teeth nipping my scruff. "Get off!"

" _ Make me _ ." The growl was bone chilling, despite how hot the breath in my ear was. "Keep me from snapping your neck, or choking you with that hideous collar right now.  _ I dare you. _ Or are you just going to lie there and cower?"

_ There's no way she's serious! Right? She wouldn't actually kill me… _

_ Would _ she? It was a possibility I was less and less certain of, and as she shifted her stance to press onto my neck, I panicked. It was getting harder to breathe, and adrenaline was surging through my veins. I thought of my owners, and my sister. No, I couldn't leave them yet. I  _ wasn't _ going to leave them. I wasn't going to just roll over and accept my death!

_ That's it! Roll over! _

Using every ounce of strength I had, I forced myself to twist until I was laying on my back. Her weight was still crushing me, and her paw was directly on my windpipe, but now I had a secret weapon- leverage. My hind legs were scrunched underneath her, and with a hiss I launched them straight out as hard as I could, shoving at her softer underbelly and kicking. As she started to lose her balance and I had more room, I gave one final kick to dislodge her. 

She landed on her side a short distance away, and I wasn't about to waste my time. However, just as I was about to bolt towards the cat door and find somewhere indoors to hide, she called out to me.

"Aww, hang on a sec! Don't get so freaked out, I was just playing with you!"

" _ Playing?!? _ You threatened to  _ kill _ me!"

I should be running, trying to lose her and find help. Why was I even entertaining conversation?

Something about her was so strange though… Even though I didn't lower my guard, I felt compelled to stay and hear her out. If only because her behavior was the complete opposite of what it should have been.

She didn't look frustrated, or dangerous, or even vaguely aggressive. All Miss Junko had done was sit up and started grooming her fur back into place. In fact, she almost looked pleased, her whiskers twitching with giggles that were slowly growing more audible.

"I was just  _ testing _ you, silly! You didn't pick up on that? It was like,  _ soooo _ obvious. I could never kill someone as cute as you!" Her tail brushed the tip of my nose as she circled me, and I bristled. Her body language was completely relaxed, but after how quickly she'd turned on me before...

"And even if I  _ could _ , trust me. If I wanted you dead, you'd already  _ be _ dead." 

When I didn't reply, she started laughing again, fully this time. "Holy shit, learn to take a joke! Geez!" Shaking her head, she turned to sit in front of me. "Like I said, it was just a little test! I was teaching you a lesson!" Straightening her posture, her voice took up a more professional tone.

"You said you couldn't go out past your human boundaries because it was too dangerous, and you were safer in here. Correct?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, you were attacked within the boundary, and managed to hold your own against an opponent that outclassed you. You didn't require human interference. So now do you see, protege?" Miss Junko purred, fixing me with a stern gaze. " _ Nowhere _ in the world is safe or unsafe. That doesn't matter. The only thing that determines your safety is  _ you _ . What you can handle, what you choose to do. This isn't your special sanctuary, and the world out there isn't your enemy. It's all the same, and it all means nothing." 

Once she was done with her strange lecture, she dropped the monotone in favour of her more energetic, fiery voice, bouncing towards me with a grin.

"Ya' see what I gave ya'? A little taste of the real world! Proof that you can handle it if you really put your mind to it! Proof how pointless your little cage is!"

"I mean… I guess I see what you were trying to do… even if I don't really like your methods." I finally admitted, grimacing at the leftover ache in my shoulders. "But I'm sorry… I think you only really proved I don't want to go out there. One fight was enough, thanks." Shaking out my pelt, I offered her an uneasy smile. "I think I'll head back inside, if that's okay. I guess you can stay in the sun for a while longer, if you'd like to…" That would be apology enough for kicking her, right? "Just make sure you sneak back out before my owners get back. Goodbye, Miss Junko. It was… interesting, meeting you." 

She didn't stop me as I headed back through the cat door, but she did stare at me, dumbfounded. " _ Seriously _ !?! Are you freakin'  _ kidding me?!? _ The adrenaline didn't give you a lust for excitement and adventure!?! No desire for carnal sport?!?"

"I guess I'm just not into that sort of life. I'm more of a peaceful type, I guess." I shrugged. 

I heard her screech after me as I curled up on the couch in the living room.

"Get some freakin'  _ autonomy _ , kid! A little agency! Do something just for  _ you _ , not your lame-o owners! Life is about shredding boxes, not sitting inside them!!!"

"Boxes are comfortable to sit in though!" I called back.

After a moment, she poked her head through the cat door, her muzzle wrinkled in a frustrated pout. "Don't tempt me to agree with you when we're arguing! You know what I meant!!!"

Before either of us could say anything more, our ears pricked as footsteps sounded outside. With a hiss of annoyance, Junko prepared to dart out of the enclosure. 

"Hey, if you ever pull the mush out of your ears and realize you should listen to me, I'll be back tomorrow and waiting outside. But that's your  _ one chance _ to hang out with me, so don't blow it!"

With that, she disappeared, and soon enough my owners stepped through the human door.

I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed to see her go… She was unpredictable, maybe even unstable with those constant mood swings, but… She was nice enough to me, all things considered.

I mean, she'd smacked my ears and nearly suffocated me, but she hadn't actually laid a scratch on me. And the other acts had been part of her attempt to help me, at least.

Help me with  _ what  _ was the question. She kept telling me to act for myself, but if I was happy here, then wasn't I already choosing for myself? I didn't need the whole world to be happy, or to venture into a place I had no business in. Despite her attempt with our fight, I wasn't talented enough to make it out there. I was pretty sure she'd let me kick her off anyways.

_ Yeah, I'm happy enough here…  _ I thought, dozing off as one of my owners started scratching my forehead.

~~~

Happy  _ enough _ .

By the time the next morning had rolled around, the reality of that thought kept nagging at me. I'd gone through the normal routines of dinner and playtime last night, my owners were as nice to me as always, but… I couldn't help but wonder about it.

What  _ was _ it like out there? How did a fancy housecat like her travel so far, unscathed? Would she really be waiting for me today? What would happen if I went with her?

_ I could see how the cats out of my league live… That might be interesting… _

It could also be dangerous though, and the idea sent nerves twisting in my stomach. I didn't even know Miss Junko that well…

_ Somehow, I trust her though. She's weird, but I don't think she'd do anything truly bad… _

She did say nothing was any more dangerous than you made it, or… something like that. So as long as I didn't do anything risky, maybe it would all be just fine? Was that what she'd meant?

If I hoped for it to be a good day and a safe journey, it would be?

_ I only have this chance today. Once in a lifetime. If I don't take it, would I be alright with never knowing? _

_ ~~~ _

By the afternoon, with my owners long gone from the house, I'd made up my mind. Ignoring the leftover nerves tingling in my chest, I puffed it out and walked with my head held high, striding towards the hole in the enclosure. I was surprised to find it had been stuffed with leaves and twigs. Had she attempted to hide it so I wouldn't get in trouble?

Pawing the obstructions out of the way, I was greeted by the sight of her lounging on the ground below, snoring loudly. Before I even had a chance to speak though, her ears pricked at the sound of the sticks rustling, and she sat up, smoothing out her ruffled fur and wiping the drool off of her muzzle in the blink of an eye.

"Well well, look who it is!" Her smirk was so wide it almost split her face. "So you haven't been neutered after all!~"

I tried to look unfazed by her teasing, even if my ears burned. Rolling my eyes, I put on my most authoritative meow. Even if she'd offered to show me the ropes (sort of), I didn't want to seem like I was going to be bossed around so easily all the time! 

"Alright, Miss Junko, I'll go with you. On one condition: I have to be back by dinnertime."

She blinked at me once, her whiskers twitching as she fought (and failed) to hold back a snicker. "Okay, then I've got a condition for you-" she sighed, reaching through the hole to poke my nose with her paw. "Drop the 'Miss' already and just call me Junko, you  _ dork!" _

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a kudos or comment (anon is also fine), I love hearing from you all! ❤
> 
> Yes, I have more chapters in progress for this. Yes, I also have more characters planned! No, sorry, I won't be taking requests. This fic is my Me Time to be worked on whenever the urge hits c': It is my no pressure project and I'd like it to stay that way! Feel free to subscribe to the fic for those updates, whenever they happen to poof into existence lol. Thank you for understanding!


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